Some would be surprised at how thoughtful I am when it comes to matters of mental and emotional health despite my love for and career in the vanity full beauty industry. I’ve always been in love with the thought of happiness even tho I never really knew what it would take to be my reality. That didn’t stop the speculation……when I was 10(ish) I swore my happiness would arrive when the $$ did and everything else would follow. By 15(ish) I figured if I could be as pretty and enticing as “that girl” I could really “buy” things with my looks something like my grandmother used to ask me if I expected her to do when my wants got out of hand. By 18, I wanted nothing more than to be independent. Those were my “One day I won’t need anybody” years.
As the years changed so did my idea of where my happiness lived. But boy did I travel……. Romance Lane, Fashion Blvd, Party Girl Place, MsPopular Terrace, Friends Please Street with an immediate right on Please Friends Ave. How far off was I? #EpicFailFar
If you’re anything like me you worked hard to obtain those things that you once felt would make you happy…that ring, the friends, the car and home, the relationship, the children, the body & attention, the degree or job position and are still left feeling a little disappointed. Even more so now that you’re feeling a little unappreciative bc where you are or what you have isn’t enough and confused as to why it isn’t. If this is where you are ……cheer up, it happens. We make a list that includes all our wants and commonly mistake a completed list for the key to the front door of the happy house we’ve searched so desperately for.
The problem with that is(I promise we’re getting to the good stuff)……. that list will change. Maybe you’ll always want that ring, home, and hubby…but chances are your list will grow. To build your happiness on something that is not stable is quite like choosing your favorite wave in the sea and building your house on it.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Our pursuit of happiness will often fall short and/or at best be temporary. Unlike a smile, you can not stumble upon happiness. Happiness is a choice you make. It’s a frame of mind and ultimately something you create.That’s right you can stop looking! Don’t shoot the messenger but here are few things I like to keep in mind that help center me and keep me in the right frame of mind..
- Never dream so big that you forget how to appreciate what you have. You’re setting yourself up. If your dreams of a bigger home have you hating that apartment that has kept you warm and out of the rain for 2 years. You’re not ready for that home yet. Only when you know where your wants belong will you find happiness.
- Don’t wait for a miracle to be inspired. Small things people. We (myself included) have gotten in a larger than life mode. We pray for a sign and expect a typhoon to sweep down our street and knock on the door. Pay attention and appreciate the things you’d usually take for granted..
- Be patient with yourself. Anything you give out( love, respect, patience, loyalty honesty) you MUST “give in”. This one should have been #1. We are taught from a very young age how to take care of others. How to treat others.. and while that is important to live in a sociable society like ours, it is equally important to know how to take care of you.
As I learn more…I’ll give more. Knowledge is nothing if kept a secret. Thumbs up this post if you enjoyed reading and of course I welcome all discussion.
Until next time dolls