Goodness, it is Tuesday again already? Time flies when you’re coming off a turkey high doesn’t it lol. Well hiya Doll babies! It’s been a back to work kinda week so we’re still gaining our momentum, I haven’t been through my emails as of yet to do a letter to the mob but I did want to come and leave a thought or topic of discussion for this week.
What Are you sellin’?
Ok, so you know I’m the inspired type. Meaning I’m always grabbing & using bits & pieces of my reality i.e I ate a cake with cherries, chocolate, and cream on it and ended up creating this set
Today’s post is much like my other post in that it’s inspired lol. But this time by a ridiculous comment a guy made that made me want to strangle him until he found his right to remain silent. Did I…of course not. For one, I’m a woman and I don’t go get my nails done, and enjoy facials to get in bar fights with men. And secondly, he was someone else’s problem because I over heard him say it he wasn’t talking to me.
Anyway, The two men beside me at the bar were having a convo that had taken a strange and somewhat dark turn from football to date rape….and in that order. Now let’s get one thing straight, this wasn’t a night club or anything with loud music to where I would have to be a creeper to even hear the people next to me, it’s nice restaurant that has bar in it. I’m no creeper lol. So, one young man said he didn’t think there was anything wrong with putting something in a girl’s drink IF the girl was scantly dressed with heavy makeup. Why…Because they we’re asking for it and “selling slutty”. His friend seemed a little uncomfortable after he realized my friend and I heard it and attempted to correct his friend in a passive aggressive way, but bc my girl friend and I were creeped out, tipsy, and outraged we decided to leave the bar.What is sellin’ slutty? IDK. But what I’m sure of is what “she’s asking for it” means.
Once I got home and sobered up I thought more about the incident which maybe didn’t deserve a second thought. Let’s be clear, I wouldn’t give a damn if they chick was a full time prostitute…if she said she didn’t want you, you are out of luck. She could be walking down the street completely nude( though I don’t advise either) and it doesn’t give you the right to touch her. There is no situation or circumstance that warrants you to do something to a person who isn’t consenting (if she’s passed out she can’t give her consent), and let’s not even get into the children /minor situation. That mentality is disgusting, desperate, and depressing.
While I disagree with him 100% I found myself wondering “What am I selling?” Did my locs, nails, tattoos, piercings & makeup make me a target of some sort of scrutiny. Was I given a label because of the way I carry myself, and if so what was it?
This bought a lot of my choices to the forefront for the first time. I found that most of my preferences..down to my style of clothing came from one common statement that I was dying to make. Not only to other people, although I’d be lying If I said I didn’t care if they got it….but mainly to myself. It may have even started as a fake it til’ you make it ordeal. The statement-
I am beautiful but I am not fragile.
A.K.A Admire my effort but don’t “run up”. For those not privy to the slang. Yes I’d like you to notice that I’m pretty…but more than that I want to be respected and taken seriously. And please…don’t run up lol. Even as far as fashion goes; If someone asked me to define my style I’d describe it as an edgy romance. Think Spikes and Pearls….that’s me.
Beautiful and elegant, but sharp and dangerous if handled wrong. Almost every decisions including my locs and tatts make sense when putting it in a “Statement” perspective. While I still consider myself to be beautiful I know it’s not “traditionally” beautiful because I sorta made sure of that. That wasn’t the goal. I can also see why I chose the name “The Doll Mob” as an extension of myself…..how spikes and pearls is that lol.
I may have just gotten off track, the point is….like it or not the way we present ourselves makes a statement. I could be a late bloomer. But I’ve honestly never looked at myself in that aspect. I’m more of a “how does it make you feel” kinda girl. If I put it on or try it out and I like it then I’m in it. If I can’t dig you…you’ll know it. I’ve never ever thought “hmmm what would i like my style/attitude/body language” to say about me OR for me.
Don’t get me wrong I am a woman who is comfy in her skin and very confident in her sexuality which means if the occasion calls for a short skirt I’m rising to the occasion. But because my statement or “what I’m selling” is consistent I could never go out with things falling out, riding up, coming down, nor undone. To me that doesn’t depict beauty, strength nor self respect (as a matter of fact if you catch me like that you caught me slipping lol). But I will put on that mini and make her work then again I get enjoyment out of doing what people think I can’t/won’t.
TRUE ENOUGH regardless of what that statement is unless we verbalize it’s okay to get physical….it’s not okay, but isn’t it still important to at least recognize what’s being said? Shouldn’t we know what we’re selling?
In closing………..As with most women I know, I am multi faceted. I wear my heart on my sleeve but I also wear layers. I have exceptions as well as bottom lines. Where am I going with this? >>>I believe people should get to know you beyond a statement. My locs, tatts, snatched brows and long lashes and nails may urge certain people stay at distance, and maybe I made these choices because I’d prefer that certain people did. Anyone who would miss the experience of getting to know who I am beyond that 1 statement doesn’t deserve to know me at all. I’m so much more than that….who isn’t?
Still I believe the question should still be posed………”What are you selling?” What do you say about you……even before you speak? IS this intentional? Is your statement consistent? I challenge you to answer these questions honestly…and if you don’t like the answer CHANGE IT.