Girl Talk Tuesday: Letters to the Mob

Well hello doll babies!!

Yesterday was another Girl Talk Tuesday BUT I didn’t get to post! Which works out because today isn’t just any ol’  Wednesday. It’s my 28th birthday AND before you say it……

Classic

I’m looking forward to spending the day doing w.e I want  whether that be eating Applebee’s Blondies for breakfast, lunch and dinner (which I have thought about all kinds of seriously) or dance around the house in my night gown all day lol.

Anywho before I start my day I wanted to leave you with our letter from yesterday:

Dear Dolls,

I am a 34 year old NJ native who is in a bit of a pickle. When I met my boyfriend of 3 years I was the heaviest I’ve ever been. So heavy that I don’t really want to tell you how heavy but bc I know the mob’s rules I’ll keep it real and spill the beans. I was 295 and I felt every pound of it. Unlike my weight my self confidence was at an all time low. I hated shopping which I once loved, I hated mirrors, I hated outtings, I hated clubs, I hated magazines and music videos, I hated anything that reminded me that I was fat. Misery was my new best friend and I HATED THAT biotch too!

So I did something about it. A couple years ago (a year after I met my babe) I got a membership at Planet Fitness & a trainer and I worked my butt off….quite literally. Over the past 2 years I’ve lost close to 100 pounds which if you ask me is a small person. I should be celebrating right? Here’s my dilemma: My Boyfriend hates it. He says when he met me I was perfect and I love him for thinking so but it’s starting to become an argument that leads to me feeling a little insecure in my new body. I’m not sure what I should do because I love him and I want him to be happy, but should I have to compromise when it comes to my body?

I  can’t wait to see what you ladies have to say!

First of freakin’ all ……

Congrats

Hunni you are my hero! Even with my arms slightly waving at people as I do I can’t seem to find the motivation to work out more than 3 times a week at the house for 30 minutes at a time. You have surely put me to shame!

Now, relationships definitely require compromise but they also require boundaries. It’s important to remain an individual even when married because it’s who you are that makes your relationship what it is and that goes for your partner as well. You never want to get so into someone that you’re willing to lose your identity to keep them happy. I’m even willing to bet that the person you’re meant to be with wouldn’t want you to because they love you that much.

Losing and keeping off any weight especially that amount of weight is truly an accomplishment so in my opinion it’s a little selfish that anyone would undermine and or overlook such a great feat. There are a few things I could say about the confidence of someone who would keep you from being your best self BUT …………nah Imma say it. Anyone who would keep you from being your best self has their own issues with self esteem.

It’s not your body etc. as much as what that person may think they deserve or can keep. You may be looking so good your boyfriend wants to fire your trainer and/or follow you to Planet Fitness to make sure that’s where you’re going in those tights. I’m not saying what he likes doesn’t matter I’m saying, if you were miserable when you were heavy which I can tell that you were, it doesn’t matter who liked you + 100 pounds. You’re healthier, you’re happier and less hateful lol anyone who had ONLY you in mind would be happy for you.

Your bf needs to get the root of what ever issues he has with your weight loss and come to terms with them on his own time. If your happiness with your body is something he can’t get with maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. What’s done is done and you just BETTER NOT EVER THINK THE THOUGHT of putting that weight back on.

At the end of the day while physical attraction is important it’s not as important as the fundamentals. 5 years from now who knows what physical state we’ll be in and who cares. As long as we’re healthy and happy the rest of the world will just have to deal OR mind their own damn business. Because it’s a little closer to home it may not be harder to ignore but is my opinion that no one and I mean NO ONE gets to make you feel bad about yourself.

And in closing, if you’re happy with you….

Fuck em

I’d love to hear what my dolls have to say. If you bf didn’t like your “new” body but you were miserable in your old one…..what would you do?

Your own kind of beautiful (2)

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4 thoughts on “Girl Talk Tuesday: Letters to the Mob

  1. First of all Happy Birthday love! I wish you all the best and only joy come your way!

    About the letter. I think health and self confidence are most important. If you feel better about yourself right now, your happiness should make him happy too. I somehow see what he means, but after so many years of being together, appearance should matter less. I’m sure you two can work this out, maybe he’s just worried about you losing so much weight and ending up like a stick after another year will pass.

    I wish you all the best! Xx

  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO!!!

    *clears throat* now let’s get to it. Imma be straight out and say he seems to be either a bit out of touch or insecure. The idea of losing so much weight (I applaud you girl because that takes a lot of discipline, determination, etc) and to have someone bash you or argue with you about such a major accomplishment says a lot about them. I’m sure you were fab prior to the weight loss but I’m sure you feel fab now without those extra minutes on your clock but, if nothing else I’m sure you are healthier and clearly happier which is what matters the most. I honestly stick with the saying “mind over matter” those who mind, simply don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind. Sometimes it takes something major for someone to show you who they really are. I hope that you all can work this out but he certainly needs to do a self evaluation and find out why he would be bothered by you becoming a better you. As long as you stayed the same loving you and didn’t transform until a whole other being personality wise (for the worse) then I can’t understand what his issue would be. Even if he prefers a fuller figured woman he should still understand why that had to change if you weren’t happy about it.

    Good luck doll!

  3. Happy Birthday!

    I agree with my namesake above. I do think that relationships require compromise but health and weight aren’t one. I can understand preferences but you are healthier! Im curious if your man is a bigger guy? Maybe he us worried you’ll find a more fit guy. Which , if thats it, yall have other problems besides weight. Hopefully youll work it out.

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