If this post could have a theme song or background music it would be “Friends” by Whodini. You know the song that goes “Friends…how many of us have them? FRIENDS…one’s we can depend on”.
Unfortunately, there are several misconceptions surrounding friendships and therefore several people who have no idea how to be or if they have real friends.
Well, today we’re friendship myth busting with 5 ways to tell that she’s not that into you.
#1 Disappearing In Darkness
There are no perfect people, and therefore, there are no perfect relationships. While you can count on your friends upsetting you….you should also be able to count on them for everything else. Friendships should have no limitations. If you’re having a bad day or a experiencing a rough patch in life and there’s a friend that you’re used to gossiping, partying, and hanging out with, but they are always too busy to offer support and encouraging words in your time of need.
SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU…..
That’s right! Regardless of whether you’re chatting about the hottest pair of shoes at Macy’s, the cute guy at work, What Brenda said during class or you simply need someone to speak life into you after a horrible day a good friend will be there for it.
#2 Shady about your Shine…
Likewise, IF you have great things happening for you, you’re moving mountains, overcoming obstacles, and are overall successful and the person who loves to hear about your bad days doesn’t seem to be capable of being happy for you OR seems a little jealous (not motivated) by your accomplishments….
SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU
When you have friends who like to see you doing good but the celebrations and pats on the back cease when you began to do better than them…….she or he needs to be demoted. A real friend will be inspired by journey, and touched by your struggle. AND more than likely without you having to ask.
#3 The Run Tell That Clause
Girls are chatty. Why? I don’t know, people always say it’s because we like to hear our own voices, but I personally think women like the feeling of someone listening to them. Moving on.
- IF your friend thinks your boyfriend’s a jerk, you wear too much makeup, your shoes and/or clothes need to be updated etc. etc. and found out that she feels this way through the grapevine, the peach orchard or any other slightly sweet and partially credible source….or
- IF you begin to hear intimate conversations that you’ve shared circulating among people who shouldn’t know about them.
SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU….
A friendship should be built on honesty and trust. Your secrets should remain your secrets and “the truth” as she knows it..shouldn’t be something she only says behind your back.
Because chicks are chatty this one will need personal judgement. You may tell a friend you like a guy named Jason (I’m just pulling these names from the sky btw) and she tells Jason in an attempt to move things along she’s more than likely a friend with a funny way of going about things. If you tell this friend that you like “Jason” and she tells Jason that along with the issues you had in your previous relationship, how you need to update your wardrobe and tend to wear too much makeup……the b*$%! is questionable.
#4. The Like me for me Rule
Most women are complicated beings. I myself like to compare us to the facets of a diamond. Without our kinks and quirks we wouldn’t shine as brightly. It’s what makes you ..you and not me. Well, that and our parents lol. Anyway, as complicated and individual as we might be you should always be able to be yourself around your friends. If you:
- find yourself pretending to be something or someone you’re not
- catch yourself wondering if your friends would still like you were just being yourself
- are made to feel bad about the things you like/say/do when you’re in their presence
SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU…
Listen, I’m the “2 hands full” type of friend. I can be a depth desiring, anti-social, introvert, who is completely over shallow conversations about fall fashion one minute and a trend seeking, trendsetting, lipstick chatting fall fashion genius the next. (Refer to the diamond theory).
I’m going to be vocally disappointed in you when you’re not striving for something. I am going to tell you the truth when you don’t want to hear it ….especially when you don’t want to hear it. I may be more emotional than you on your bad days, angrier than you when someone hurts you, and prouder and more mushy than you when you succeed. Sometimes I need my space, I have trust issues, I am over protective, very opinionated, and I just don’t find the “turn-up” that exciting anymore. My point is….
As adults, we all have different and sometimes demanding schedules. That comes with the territory. However, it is true that people make time for what/who they want to make time for. If you:
- have a friend who only calls you when they’re bored, or their other friends aren’t around
- can only support you and help you out when they have absolutely nothing else going on
- have a friend you only hear from when they need something (a ride, to borrow a pair shoes, lipstick, money etc. etc.)
SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU…
Sometimes you just can’t do it…. friend or not. Friendship isn’t about kissing a#$, it’s about being a “rider” unconditionally. In the scheme of things people must prioritize and their son’s basketball game should trump your worst date story BUT a friend is going to call you on the way home from the game and let you exhale because they know there won’t be much time when they get home. OR put their headset on and let you vent while they make dinner.
I advise you to evaluate your relationships and make the necessary changes. If someone doesn’t fit the friend bill It’s okay! In the words of Robert Rihmeek Williams (Meek Mills), there’s levels to this ish. There are people you know, associates, shopping buddies, study partners and the list goes on and on. Everyone isn’t your friend.
Be sure you’re not just checking your “friends”….Check yourself. The type of friend you are is the type of friend you deserve.
FRIEND…a word that seems to describe a state of mind that is deceased.
Sadly it’s loyalty and secrecy has been severely decreased by this inadequate new age “bond” the media has released.
An insufficient “bond” full of envious competitions,
gossiping suspicions & let’s not forget the Bro/Bae/Sis contradictions.
I helplessly watched the transition…….
>>>A new generation where there too many words with no definitions.<<<
I long for the times that people took pride in their positions. Mother..Father…Family…Friend
Now there’s no fulfilment only platforms that allow you to pretend.
Someone help me understand who that helps in the end……
Happy pictures with no memories and nicknames with no history
I’m only one woman but it makes no sense to me.
Maybe one day you’ll look back and agree
& hopefully by then “the friend” won’t be extinct.